Listening with your eyes 103 by Don Ford

            In this lesson we will briefly discuss Body language. 

            Parents have used it, without putting a name to it, for years.

Body language is especially helpful if you interview applicants, if you are a police officer, and lawyers use it all the time.

            You can also use body language to influence others. 

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There are several books on body language. You will need to study one or more and then practice to become proficient. You can use body language to know if someone is upset, lying, in disagreement, etc.  You may also be able to communicate more effectively when, “you”, use body language.

           

            Three quick examples, and there are many more;

One, Mom noticed that the top is off the cookie jar. Mom ask the child, “Did you get a cookie”? The child will not make eye contact with Mom, and most likely looks down saying, “no”. Mom instinctively knows, by their child’s body language, that they are not being truthful.

Two, Let’s say one is in a meeting with their manager. The manager is sitting across the table presenting a new process.

If one is leaning back in their chair during the presentation, they are indicating that they are not interested, or rejecting the idea.

If one moves their chair away from the table, looks at the ceiling, may smile; this would indicate disagreement.

If one leans forward with good eye contact, this indicates interest and possible acceptance of what is being presented. 

            Three, Let’s consider a person making a presentation to a group. Body language of those in

            the group should tell the presenter whether he / she has the attention of the group, and whether

            they are in agreement.

Also, the lecturer’s body language during the presentation will influence the audience’s attention level. Is the speaker reading word for word from notes or, is he / she making the presentation from the information that he / she has learned. Is the presenter holding on to the podium as if he / she were afraid or, moving around with an assertive posture (body language)?  

We have all used body language all of our lives, even though we may not have thought of it as a language.

Body language could help when interviewing applicants, investigating accidents and incidents, presentations and meetings, and general conversations. It can help to determine honest forthright responses. 

It can help in our dealing with staff in several ways.

 

First, we might be more apt to identify the truth or untruths.

Second, we may be able to get our points across, and have others better receive our message, by using the correct body language.

Third, we might be able to defuse a potentially aggressive or hostile situation by observing and presenting proper body language.

Forth, and possibly the most important is, by observing a person’s body language and listening to what is being said, we will be focusing on the person more during a conversation. This can lead to better communications.

Remember this; anyone can learn to use body language, a person who understands body language might use it to influence (fool) you.

Body Language is something we have known all our life, but may not have seen in print or even thought about.  Body language can be a helpful tool, but do not assume it is always correct or that you can correctly use it all the time. 

Get a book on body language, read it several times. You should find it very interesting, and when you use the information, it will improve communications both ways. 

Discussion?

Thank You     

Listening 102 by Don Ford

Introduction:

            Listening is not enough, if you do not get the complete information. You should understand, being in a leadership role you are dependent on subordinates to provide you with most information, regardless of where you are on the ladder.

                        Do you get reliable information?

                        Do you get complete information?

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            The most accurate information comes from the source. Your position may not allow you to always have access to the source. Thus, you must rely on subordinates to provide the information. This is where info may go astray.

            Let’s say you are a General Manager and one of your Department Managers came to you explaining, William has a concern.

The concern is presented to you, “William said, he was not happy with the placement of a new item, he says it is too difficult to reach”. You ask your Department Manager, “What is your opinion about the item placement”. The Manager says, “We didn’t have a lot of room and that location was open, you know William, he is always complaining about something”. With that information, you shrug your shoulders and take no action.

Here are some additional facts that you did not receive.

William, the worker in this story, does comment often about situations in the work area. These comments are often focused at making his work easier, faster and safer, which by the way is good for the company. 

The following is the complete statement that William presented to his Department Manager.        

William to the Manager, “did you see where they located the 50 pound box of nails? It is on the floor location, which makes it very difficult and unsafe, when we have to reach into the back of the location which is under the rack. It is heavy and should be moved to a location that will allow us to stand up when filling the order, making it easier and safer!”

The reason for this story is to point out, people in positions of authority often receive modified input. Modified is defined as, an intentional or unintentional editing of a complete statement.

What reasons could influence this communication malfunction?

Poor listening technique.       Failed to ask questions.          Was in a hurry.

Had something else on their mind.    Believed the employee to be a complainer.

What can we take from the above story line?

            Had William and his Department Manager received adequate safety training, both would have emphasized safety, when discussing that item.  

            The department manager did not listen properly to the comments from William. Are there reasons for not listening properly? Yes there are reasons for not listening, none of which are acceptable.

            The General Manager was also at fault. The GM could have asked for more details, should have recognized some prejudice by the Department Manager when he commented, “William is always complaining about something”.

Thought:

            Managers at all levels, should allot an amount of time from their busy work day to being in contact with, and communications with their subordinates. This would include in part, meetings with staff, walking through departments, thanking staff for safe work practices such as proper lifting etc., greeting staff, reviewing work flow, finding unsafe situations, security of property and staff.

All levels of management must rely on information from a team of subordinates. That makes it imperative they build, or rebuild, their team carefully! Review your team often! Gather information about your team and use it wisely.

Discussion:

Thank You     

Listening 101 by Don Ford

Introduction:

This short class about listening skills, will be nothing more than a reminder for some, it may be a new concept to others, and then there may be one who will believe this is a total waste of time.   

                In this session you will be provided with information as to;          

What is needed to develop good listening skills?

How you will develop good listening skills?

How to understand what is being told to you. 

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Let’s get started with what will be a major factor of developing good listening skills. Please note that we are not attempting to explain good communication skills, we are concentrating on, “listening skills”.

I can explain the key to being a good listener in one word, “Time”!

If you don’t have the time, or if you will not take the time, you will never be a good listener.

When confronted with the question, “do you have a minute”, you should understand this person has just came to you and wants your, “undivided attention for a period of time”. Do you have a minute almost always means more than a minute.

Determine whether this is an emergency situation, or if there is a safety concern. If not, and if you do not have the time, explain that you can’t meet now, can we set and appointment to meet… 

Always keep your appointment.

The next thing in learning to be a good listener is to, “shut up”.

Let the other person talk, keep your mouth closed except to ask for clarification!

Remember, you are listening to another person provide you with information!

Do not interrupt or attempt to interject your thoughts or opinions, unless the other person asks.

How do you develop good listening skills, “Practice”!

As with any skill, practice helps you develop that skill. A good place to practice is when you are with family or friends. Some may find it more difficult to listen to family or friends without interjecting their thoughts. It is likely, if you have not been a good listener with family members in the past, when you practice listening, your family will notice that you have changed.

Family will be likely to comment, something to the effect, “What’s going on, you are quieter than usual”, which will be your way of knowing that your listening skills are improving.

How to understand what is being told to you. No distractions.

Make appropriate eye contact with the person, but do not stare.

Do not look at your phone or other device! If you are the person who looked at the phone or other device, you are not listening.

Listening without understanding, is useless. Concentrating on what is being said, is the key to listening and understanding.

Brief questions to help you understand, are acceptable interruptions.

Do not present your thoughts unless asked. It is a good practice to ask for time to consider what you have just heard before responding. 

Making notes while someone is talking may help you remember what is said, but you should ask if it is ok and not a distraction to the other person.

Summary:           Take the time to listen, shut up, practice and no distractions.

Questions or Discussion?

Thank You